By: bee bee

bee bee — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 09:52:59 +0000

You sound like such a wonderful aunt.,But if she already 20 and refusing to listen, Don't let her ruin your life.Sometimes you have just back off. let them lose it all and see what life's all about. when she has lost it all. love her, and feed her, but never bail her out with money. This sounds so mean. But I promise you giving them money,and bailing them out only make the matter worse. My step son whom I love as my own and was and have been very over protective of him as his real mom is dead. He bonded to me more than to his real dad. did fine until he started partying, doing the same cars deals as you are going through now., during a freak accident ,he almost had his leg amputated. and for one year I thought I would go crazy. trying to get him up and on his feet..His Insurance Co. awarded him a quarter of a million dollars.His dad and I tried to lead him, down all the right roads. But his head to turned to stone. he got hooked on drugs big time. and he would, not come around me high, because he loved me. But he knew more than we did,.it took him about one year and a half, and he was broke. sold every thing he had, and bought more drugs, then started stealing, and got into trouble, I went to the court and begged the judge to put him in rehab, and he did. but he has gone straight down hill .He now lives with a girl he married ,then divorced and they have 4 babies now.They are milking the welfare system to death. We have bought all the kids cloths and shoes, plus we give him abiut 100.00 a week for diapers and things the kids need.There just no end. So please don't do this. to your self. Also he has lost his driver linscens and it will cost about 1200.00 dollars to get them back. plus SR-22 insurances. He looking for us to do that. When the baby's 6 weeks old .and his girl friend, goes back to work. We are through.finaically with him. He will then, get what everybody else gets, on birhtdays and Christmas. All we are doing is enableing him. So we have no choice, but to stop. if we love him. He made the bed, and he will now have to learn to lie in it. So love your neice, But, let her get her own self out of her jams. Do it for her best interest. God Bless.
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By: cookiemonster

cookiemonster — Mon, 09 Feb 2009 09:14:59 +0000

Unfortunately I think despite your best intentions, she is 20 and is capable of making her own decisions (foolish though they may be) and with the choices that she is making now, it seems like she will have to learn the hard way and she will. I would suggest being supportive when things don't work out right instead of saying "I told you so"-that way she will come to you and know you will be there when she really needs you. Maturity comes with time and in the end she will realize that you were looking out for her all along. Also you can pray for her-God listens and understands when she won't. Unfortunately she is at the age where she probably really wants to be independent and won't really listen even though you are trying to help her. Just be patient and she will figure it out in time. Good Luck and she is lucky to have an aunt like you!
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Comments on: My 20 yr old neice is making some poor choices. How can I guide her without making her upset?

By: bee bee

By: cookiemonster